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(this post is to be read with a British accent)      

Birmingham, England                                                                                                                                       October 24, 1885

Dearest Everyone who reads this blog,

I am writing to tell you about the oh so very exciting life I lead.   PLEASE DO NOT BE JEALOUS OF THE FOLLOWING POST!  (it will be hard but you’ll get through it)

I worked out on Saturday morning, it was leg and core day and I was feeling in tip top form. Quite  wonderful that I was able to exercise my right to perform other exercises apart from taking turns around the garden with my sister Jane!

I then went to work with a client.  (On the weekends I help people organize their homes and offices.)  After working with the client I went to do some light bouldering at local crag if you will.  Now, let me say that I am not the best climber, nor the worst but it is nice to be outside in the elements by one’s self.  However, even though I was climbing by myself there were people who were hiking by and some stopped to watch me.  Seriously.  No one wants to watch me climb.  I am not very good but I work at it… 60% of the year, okay maybe 50%.  Lol…  I keep ear buds in my ears so I don’t have to listen to people ask questions.  I mean if you circle back around I will be stuck on the same crux that I was 30 minutes ago and you’ll think to yourself, “She stinks…let’s keep hiking.”  Not very exciting to watch after all eh?!  lol…  Needless to say I am still working on the same problem.

Sunday morningI awoke in crazy arse pain!  I mean it was painful to sit down, stand up, climb stairs, hang pictures, laugh, breath.  Weirdly I had no problem eating, my buccinator muscles are in top form!    I felt like the Tin Man who needed the oil can.  Except I needed massage and a beer!  I decided to take a rest day and not workout at all.  I organized a client and then my friend and I went to a movie and I almost fell asleep a few times through out it.  I felt I owed it to him to stay awake as he paid for the tickets!  Bloody hell people…. it is quite difficult being 29 years of age.  Okay, that is a lie…I am somewhere between 31 and 100 years of age.  I am not narrowing it down for you anymore.  You don’t deserve to know the truth.

Now it is Monday evening.  I stopped at the market and then came home where I proceeded not to use a single darn ingredient I bought 20 minutes prior. I opened a bottle of delicious red wine and made vegan nachos.  Vegan cheese still sucks.  This brand melted better but was still absolutely tasteless.  One good thing that I learned is that if you mix vegan sour cream with buffalo sauce that combo will mask the bad taste of crappy vegan cheese!!!

Now I am off to bed where I will toss and turn waking up to dry a mouth and two very dry eyes WISHING I would have bought that humidifier I saw on Amazon for $30 a week ago!  I will get up at 4:15am, press snooze twice and then finally crawl out of bed and get me arse to the gym.  I will literally look like the walking dead.  If any of you don’t watch it on the television feel free to meet me at the gym and you can see a live performance! Lol…

Your loving sister and dead poet,

Lori and Henry (Wadsworth Longfellow)  He gives to people and thinks it is cool.