It’s spring and the flowers and trees are blooming with renewed life and the smell of fresh cut grass is in the air! The sun, holy cow the sun is back baby!! This is a great time for a little self realization. Here’s mine… (please read this with sincerity, humor and a learning curve.)
Lately (as in the past few years) I’ve been periodically stuck in others negative energy and have intermittently lost my focus. It isn’t their fault, it’s mine. I’m not talking about just one person. I’m talking about a few people who have been in my life for a little while now. This solid meditation practice that I have can sometimes disappear when I need it most, into thin air just like a ghost! (#iloverhyming 😆)
What happens when you get caught up in others negative energy and why does it happen? Well first let’s talk about why.
Dudes, I am a helper. I want to help you cross the street, open a jar of pickles for you, get you through a life crisis, tell you your fly is down, listen to your problems, meditate with you, tuck your shirt tag in, make you smile on a particularly crappy day, hug you, do your dishes, hangout with you when I just want to go to bed, get you through the moment with fresh brewed coffee and LOTS of nature. I will listen to you until I’m blue in the face. And sometimes I become romantically involved because I fall for the tragedy aaaand I feel needed by you. (<–I know what my issues are…lol)
But guess what?!?!?! I’m not a therapist. I know right?.. You totally thought I was😆. I don’t have a license, a certificate nor anything of the sort. When I finally do wake up and realize that the line between being a good friend and getting involved too deeply (a.k.a. therapist/and or lover) has been crossed, well it’s too late. I’m already all in. When in reality I’m not in at all. I’m on the sidelines of their life and I’m only called into the game when the score is so darn low and they just need a body because the star player is exhausted from trying too hard to prove to everyone they are awesome but they aren’t that awesome because they are clearly losing the game. (Obvious tidbit: Star player being themselves, the soul sucker.)
So why are these types of people attracted to me? Well I have been told it is because I’m optimistic, carefree, fun loving, kind, strong and independent. (also I like to be needed [bad I know]) There is something they see in me that they are missing in their own life and they will suck you dry until they can get their hands on just a piece of your whimsical free lovin’ soul. They will prey upon your “helper” personality because it temporarily relieves them of their own internal hellish crisis.
Here’s what’s obvious but I feel needs to be said. You can’t bring anyone happiness if they aren’t happy with themselves or aren’t willing to receive it.
Total “duh” moment I know…🙄
This is where the soul suckers come in. But first the definition (this is my own made up definition so don’t go all “legal” on me..lol) of a Soul Sucker: one who depletes you of your positive energy so they may live in happiness for the moment before returning to lives they are not happy with and the negative energy that surrounds them. Soul suckers are either too proud or too stuck or both, to want to change themselves for the better. They see no way out of the situation and therefore they cling onto others. Helpers are the “pill” they pop to get them through the day.
Now I’m not saying these people are total and complete turds. Some have been through very very very rough times. However that does not give anyone the “I have free pass to act like this because my past is so tragic” card. Everyone has a past and a lot have one that was not fair but that does not excuse horrible or bad behavior over an extended period of time. Soul suckers don’t want to be soul suckers. These are people that are so stuck in their own junk that they don’t feel as if there is a way out and they morph into soul suckers.
I’m not telling anyone how to overcome fear, grief, loss, loneliness, abandonment or depression. I have just finally realized that I don’t have the tools nor the education to help beyond a listening ear for a short period of time. When someone keeps telling you the same story or the same “oh woe is me” tale, it’s time to go. (The only thing I want on repeat is my favorite song while attempting to lift weights. 😜) No one should deplete your positive vibes.
Go ahead people, share those positive vibes but know when to move on or else your positive will turn to negative and it can take some time before your higher energy frequency returns. And don’t worry about that person after you choose to cut those ties. Wish them love, peace and clarity and release them. They will either find peace or find another person with a high positive energy level to prey upon because they aren’t yet ready (consciously or subconsciously) to seek the true help they so really do need. (we all need help, some just more than others.)
Obvious tidbit: I am not perfect. I have my own issues to deal with. I have total crappy moments that can last several days! Think of mid-winter, no sun (and you’ve forgotten there ever was one), period, no date nor prospect of one on the horizon and/or the need to eat so I may hibernate all winter like a bear. Yes, bad moments can last. I myself went through a super very very very crappy time forever ago and it affected my life in many ways. It was horrible and it took a loooong time to come to terms with, but I never intentionally hurt anyone.
What I’m saying here is that you have to keep yourself in the forefront at all times. Being around that negative energy can make you do things you never thought you would. This is why I say they suck you dry because it’s then, when you have nothing left, that you surrender to their lip service. You believe what they say. You enter their world of perpetual sadness and selfishness. When you do reach your breaking point you are so ready to let go and you see the light and run towards it full speed ahead. But don’t think you’ll get there scott free. There are still feelings of “what if”, abandonment, loneliness, shame and just feeling bummed. Don’t fear my peeps. If you are a naturally happy loving person you’ll sooner rather than later realize that you feel better when they aren’t in your sphere. You’ll want to surround yourself with positive people and those positive people will only lift your spirits higher. Which brings me to this: If someone doesn’t voluntarily celebrate you and your accomplishments and dreams, then see ya later alligator. If you have to convince someone to spend time with you, then ciao dude I gotta go. If someone can’t make the effort to be there for/with you if they are sure they won’t be getting anything in return then take that red flag and haul butt as far away from them as possible.
You have to know when to hold em’know when to fold em’, know when to walk away and know when to run…thank you Kenny Rogers!!!!!
These are hard lessons people! The heart is complex strong willed organ and sometimes your head has to step in and say, “Look stupid, Brain here, I can’t take much more of this and the rest of us, muscles, bones and nerves need a break!”
Does this mean that you give up on those soul sucking people? NO WAY DUDE! You keep them in your meditations and prayers but only wishing them mental clarity, love and peace. No dwelling on what was or what could have been if only things were different. MOVE ON. By keeping the negative energy around you, you block the positive from coming in. Like the old saying, “misery loves company.”
One day you will be able to be friends with these people. You’ll be able to put the past aside and embrace them. For right now though they are not contributing to your life in a positive way. It’s like being at a bakery, everything tastes so good until it makes you sick.
I choose to divert my path towards positive energy. Maybe one day they will rejoin you on your path, your positive path.
Until then keep your mind free of negative clutter, embrace positive people, love like a wild person, point your face towards the sun and let it flow flow flow. Recreate yourself, renew yourself, put yourself first, make amends where needed and move forward.
Love, peace and everything in between,
“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”
~Henry Wadworth Longfellow (clearly this dude practiced meditation!)