The benefits of a compliment


The other day an old lover of mine, I’ll call him Mr. B, from my days in California when we used to surf just south of San Francisco at Half Moon Bay (yes I had a lover(s)) told me that I would not want to see him with his shirt off these days.  I asked why.  He said that he is no longer 33. I bet he still looks amazing! 😉

What I wish I could have said in that moment was, “It’s your deep brown penetrating eyes that I would look at first and everything else about you is just a bonus.”  But I didn’t find those words at that moment.  Wish I had though.

I recently went on a date.  A social distancing hiking date, which by the way was awkward enough as a first date and then you have to add in at least 6 feet of distance between each other.  Ughhh…

Paul is a nice man.  He is attractive, kind, gentlemanly (from what I gathered in 2.5 hours), super cute, smart and outdoorsy.  We talked about a lot of things and the hike was smooth.  First date endings are almost always clumsy and this one was no different.  Lol..   See Paul didn’t make a lot of eye contact.  Why people can’t make eye contact is a whole other post.  I mean I am well aware that I have about a spotty 2.5 inches of silver roots showing at the top of my head, my eyebrows need desperately separated and I guess I was a little under dressed.  Dating… in the time of corona.  But I mean we were hiking after all!  And for the record he knew about all of this not existent beauty routine and said (pre-hike) that it didn’t matter!

Anyways I paid him a few compliments along the trail and I did not receive one.  NOT ONE!  Not even a “Hey I like your hiking shoes” or “Hey you picked a really cool hiking spot.”  Could he be shy?  Sure.  Could he be a mute?  He was not.  But what the hell?  I didn’t expect a proposal but I always try to compliment people, even strangers.  Everyone loves to be sincerely complimented.  If I see a stranger with a cute pair of shoes or a cool haircut I tell them so!  And I always get a smile back!

But this Paul guy?  Nothing.  Not one thing.

I get that some people have a hard time giving and receiving compliments.

People, please give compliments.  Especially in times like these.  It doesn’t have to be an in depth story of what you love about someone but it sure is a nice way to cheer someone up.  And (read the rest of this sentence in a British accent) EVERYONE could use some cheering up during these dark uncertain times.

A compliment can:

  • Boost someones self-esteem.
  • Turn a bad day into a good day.
  • Bring a smile to someone who hasn’t smiled in quite a while.
  • Release heart happy chemicals and therefore lower someone’s stress.
  • Could save someone’s life.  Someone who has felt lost or overlooked.

But why are people hesitant to give compliments?  Maybe they fear the compliment won’t be reciprocated.   Maybe they are shy.   Maybe they are scared or, maybe they are just a dill-hole.  Who knows?!  What I do know is that when someone receives a compliment then they are more likely to give one and there goes the ripple effect of happiness!

So don’t be a dill-hole.  Give a compliment!

~L

“Give what you have (like a compliment).  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

3 thoughts on “The benefits of a compliment

  1. Glad to see your blogs. I always like your writing style especially when you speak your mind. If I am able to meet-up with you in the future, I would give you a number of compliments!

    Liked by 1 person

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