My chi is blocked man…shoot, everything is blocked…lol

I feel like I’m blocked. I feel like I’m moving forward but my spirit is blocked. I don’t know how to become, unblocked?…

I have been gung ho running towards this dream of buying a van for almost a solid year now. Dudes, a solid year! Last night was the first time that I let myself spend the money and get a hotel room so I could completely sit in silence, by silence I mean turning the cell phone about 8 o’clock, and just sleep. Now and then I’ve stayed with friends and family but it’s not the same.

Housesitting, pet sitting or just staying with friends or family for a few days is NOT the same as giving yourself the gift of alone time.

Seriously last night I Googled how to tell if I was in a rut. I am but I’m not right?. As far as my social life, love life and travel life are concerned I am in a total and complete rut! I’ve been working and working and working and working to pay things off and put money away to buy this van. Dudes it’s like I have tunnel vision.

I was chitchatting with my manager today picking up shifts for next week and she says, “Lori do you really want to work that much? Do you really want to work that many days in a row?” Even she can tell I’ve been burning the candle at both ends!

I lost my groove and creativity. I had a nice hotel room last night and I did not even invite over “the dude” because all I wanted was peace and quiet and sleep. Me too tired to smooch and snuggle? The answer is HECK YES! Dear god something must be wrong with me!… LOL

Not to mention my poor body man! When I get tired I make really super crappy life decisions as far as working out and food goes. I really need to get a grip and realign myself because being healthy, meditating and yoga/workingout on a daily basis is what my career goal is.

Do you ever get so tired to the point where you just start crying? I mean it may be a totally chic thing to do but I’m telling you it’s happened way too often lately! At least three times this past week! 😭. (I can’t even blame on my period 😕)

I have never been one to put forth a ton of effort towards something that does not interest me, just ask my parents… LOL. But when there is something that I really want, holy crap do I go full steam ahead into it! Sometimes when I’m driving down the road I have is out of body experience where I’m beside myself and I can see myself literally driving in my van winding through Utah, Montana, Idaho, Wyoming etc.

So I’ve been ranting for a little bit now so I guess the moral of the story is is that I need to start dedicating time to myself. My van will come in due time but if I don’t tart start taking care myself I’m going to go nuts! 🥜

I’m so going to get a hotel room once a month or once every two months for sure because I cannot believe I didn’t do that earlier!!!

Peace, love and R&R,

~Lori

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Beautiful people and on this beachy sunny Fourth of July! 🇺🇸

I LOVE LOVE LOVE mornings! Dude you kind of have the world to yourself. You get to enjoy everything in relative peace and quiet, at least where I live… LOL! Today I woke up feeling amaaaaaazing! My folks had people over last night for the local fireworks and it was the usual crew of neighborhood friends and family. It was just a really wonderful easy breezy lemon squeezey kind of night. I spent the night at my parents house and actually slept in bed with my momma because her bed is so comfortable and even as I grow older I still love to cuddle with her. Ti amo Momma Gina! 🇭🇺

I awoke this morning and headed down to the lake while listening to my favorite Xavier Rudd singing/playing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyMuW4v3uEw&feature=share

Of course before I headed to the lake I grabbed a cuppa (<—voice text ha!) coffee because somethings are just essential. ☕️. So I pulled into our local 🏖 beach, grabbed my yoga mat and my purse with my brand new smart phone. It’s not really a phone because I just use it as a computer. I cannot text or make calls from it! I still have my trusty old flip phone and I love it….still.! So I moseyed out onto some rocks, laid out my yoga mat, pointed my body towards the sun and had a solid healthy dose of at least 20 to 30 minutes of awesome meditation and it was on believable. As I thanked the universe for it’s kindness and the love that surrounds everyone I opened my eyes gently to the sun glistening upon the water. I got out my camera a.k.a. new smart phone and I took a ton of pictures.

Pictures of birds, pictures of people, pictures of the water as it was all just lovely.

In the spirit of this Fourth of July holiday I’m going to share some pictures of this beautiful little community in this wonderful amazing country! I hope you all have an amazing, safe, kind, beautiful and Happy Fourth of July! 🇺🇸🌎✌🏻

~L

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Walk Away….

I think I’ve reached a place where I’m no longer satisfied with group outings that circle around hiking, kayaking and then sitting around a fire drinking having superficial conversations. I like my friends but I’m craving LIFE. I’m craving a life filled with deeper meaning and deeper experiences and deeper conversations. I’ve already let go of a group that was kind and welcoming because for me it was no longer exciting or stimulating. Not that they aren’t great people because they are.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s me that doesn’t fit into the social norm. Why can’t I be satisfied with a regular group of people that are wonderful.

Right now I’m staring through the tree canopy into the evening sky wishing I was somewhere else.

I dream of a bigger life that is lived and not just visited.

This song by Xavier Rudd says it’s all.

~L

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The Most Asked Questions about Car Life!

What’s up folks?! It is a beautiful sunny Friday afternoon and I am writing this from the marina in Rocky River Reservation! I was hoping to rent a kayak today and get out on the water but 41 Degrees North does not officially open unti tomorrow. Sooooo totally bummed dudes!!!

So I had a wonderful opportunity to speak at my friend Linda’s meetup group last weekend! There were plenty of nice folks with tons of great questions. So lets dive right in!

The most asked question:

Q. Where do I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night?

A. Um, in the almost nine months I have been doing this I have yet to go number 1 or 2 in the middle of the night. I usually stop drinking liquids aboout 2 hours before I go to bed and if I am parched and need to drink it will be around 5 ounces max. Just enough to quench my thirst!

Q. Where do I shower?

A. I have a gym membership at Planet Fitness and I can use any one of thier gyms anywhere in the country. My gym opens at 5am so when I wake up I just drive on over and use the bathroom, workout and then shower!

Q. Where do I get my mail and how do I file taxes and renew my passport?

A. I have a UPS address that I use. This allows me to have a street address with a unit number. I filed my taxes this year and did not have any issues.

Q. What about privacy?

A. At night I have little curtains that I hang up. I also had my windows professionally tinted to have more privacy.

Q. Where do I park?

A. When I am out roadtripping: I park at rest stops, campgrounds, BLM land (Bureau of Land Management) and side streets in little towns.

When I am in Cleveland and working I park in friends or families driveways especially if I get off of work at 11:30 pm and am too tired to drive. I will also go out to the turnpike and sometimes hotel parking lots. I have not parked in a Walmart parking lot. lol…

Q. Do I have a CCW (concealed weapon).

A. No I do not. I have bear spray and if you have ever used bear spray it is really hard to miss the target and it is totally debilitating!

Q. What about my love life?

A. I don’t hide my lifestyle from guys. They either accept it or they don’t. And as far as inimacy goes…it doesn’t happen in my car!!!!

Q. What do I do in the winter when it is really cold?

A. This past winter I slept in my car on the coldest of nights! I have a really great sleepin bag and sleep system in general. That is the key to staying warm and toasty! That and a knitted/fleece lined hat! I DO NOT keep my car running. I warm it up and then turn off the engine!

Q. Am I tired of it yet?

A. That is a Heck no! I love it. I love the freedom it brings and the minimalist lifestyle.

Q. What am I going to do about the summer heat?

A. This one I am still working on. Right now I have a few more weeks of cooler night so I have time to figure it out. I’d like to set up a three month permanent camp somewhere.

Q. What do I do about food?

A. I was never a big cook to begin with. I would do eggs and veggie burgers but that is about it. When I am in Cleveland I go to the market just about every day for fresh fruits and veggies,. When I am traveing I pack a cooler. I do brew coffee though as that is quick and easy and neccesary! lol

That is all of the questions I can think of rigt now. If you have any more please feel free to ask in the comment section of this post!

Peace, love and bubbles

~L

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.?

Henry Wadswort Longfellow

How Strong the Grass Grows

The blades were course and new. They were curved, arcing just before the top narrowed into a fine point. And although the the blades were course with the newness of spring, in bunches they were soft to the touch on the soles of my feet. Rich, soft blades drenched in green from the sun, rain and earth. The blades of grass make an earthly blanket so soft that it feels like heaven.

The grass gave way to the trees as if they, in a unified force were thrusting the trees upwards towards the sky chanting “Grow, grow, grow strong trees for the forest needs you!” The trees grew strong with the help of the forest. Branches began to sprout buds and the buds blossomed into flowers, leaves and food. The trees stood proud and gave renewed life to the birds, squirrels, other beautiful beings puttering in, out and about its entirety.

To be cont…

~L

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Driving towards the Sun

Even though I was on the road for a total of 17 hours this weekend I got into my car this morning to drive to work and as I headed east on the high-way I loved the feeling of having the windows down and my arm dangling out the window into the wind and watching the sunrise. Dudes it is these tiny moments that just make me feel so great! I got to watch the sun come up, planes come into land at the airport, other people driving to work busy with their mornings and even though the world was busy the sun just did its thing and the world just kept turning and I just kept being happy!

So drive on towards the sun everyone and smile towards the sky!

~L

” Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to thing.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The Year of Confidence

I am a pretty confident person in many ways. I am not afraid to speak my mind. I am not afraid to stand up for someone else nor myself when the time calls for it. I have had dreams that I made come true. I have been places and done things that most people would never dream to do out of fear of the unknown. But, for as many things that I am confident in there is an equal amount that I am not confident in. Let me let you in on what makes me feel small and hiding the background.

This is my list in no particular order.

Men.

Men that I am interested in because I feel that when they get to know me, all of me, they will be disappointed in the fact that I am still a women who wants to be loved inspite of all her scars and insecurities. I am an adventurer but there are times when my confidence is low and I want a man to be there to hold me and tell me it is going to be alright.

Money.

I grew up in a family that was solid and loving but we lived paycheck to paycheck. I am very intimidated by money. I do not make a lot of money. In fact I started a small organizing business and felt guilty charging clients what numerous sources said I should be charging so I low-balled myself by $25/hr. I know what it is like to need something and not be able to afford it whether it is a specific item or service. I also believe that if I don’t have a lot of money then it will keep me from becoming greedy. I have a fear of having money.

Being my best physical healthy self.

This one boggles me as I love to be active but for some reason I hide behind a few extra layers because if they aren’t attracted to me then they cannot hurt me and leave me so why bother trying. I figure if a guy doesn’t want to date me then what will a double scoop of Mitchell’s icecream hurt? This is by far my worst defense mechanism.

I am not writing these things because I am wanting pity. I am writing these things because I have never said them out loud to anyone, let alone myself. I am going to give myself a Mulligan on these first 4 months and start ab ovo (<—to start over.) From this moment forward I am going do my best to better my self esteem and relationship with my physical self, money and men.

Spirtually I have grown so much over the last 5 years. I feel like I am in wonderful spiritual place where I am ready to tackle the issues that I believe are holding me back a little and the ones I would like to do much better in.

When your spiritual self is solid other things become clearer.

Much peace, much love and many bubbles of confdence,

~L

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Revisiting old places and sweet faces


Good morning beautiful world!

view

I am currently house sitting for my old neighbor who lives in my old old apartment! (I moved three times in the two and half years I lived in this building) lol… I did love this building with it pre-WWII character such as skeleton key locks and creaky hardwood floors. Dude I am not going to lie, it is a little weird being back in the apartment building I willingly choose to leave to start a new life adventure. It is even weirder staying in my old old apartment pattering around but being surrounded by things that are not mine! Somehow the fluidity of movement around the space has not changed. I feel like I am in an alternate universe…lol. I can’t stop laughing as I write this..(could be the amount of coffee I had already.)

So over the next few days I will be enjoying the benefit of domestic stability but I KNOW I will be itching to get back to my happy nomadic life. Seriously.. 🙂

The other crazy cool thing that is happening that I am so totally stoked about is that in few weeks I am going back to the unit at the Cleveland Clinic that I started out in and left when I decided to move to California. How crazy is that?!?!?! In a sense I feel like I am going “home?”. My life if fun, hilarious, trying at times but never dull 😉

I left that unit in 2006 and trekked out west the day after my 29th birthday craving a crazy new life experience. Now 12 years later almost to the day I am going back to the unit where I will spend my time working and having more freedom to plan my next life adventure! I feel like that unit and my amazing nurse manager are kind of like my home base before I launch out into something new. The BEST part is that I am going back to a place that is nurturing, understanding and exciting. Dudes though it’s funny how your perspective changes after being gone.

Anyways I just felt like I had to write a little diddy about how you don’t really ever leave people and places behind. You meet them again, hug them and thank them for the roles they did play and will play in your life. It is great to be “home” temporarily and it feels great to going “home” temporarily.

What a funny, twisty, crazy, fun, sometimes weird life one travels. Gosh darn it, I LOVE IT!

Peace, love and beautiful adventurous bubbles,

~L

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow