Wild Flowers Lori

I think I’ve reached a place where I’m no longer satisfied with group outings that circle around hiking, kayaking and then sitting around a fire drinking having superficial conversations. I like my friends but I’m craving LIFE. I’m craving a life filled with deeper meaning and deeper experiences and deeper conversations. I’ve already let go of a group that was kind and welcoming because for me it was no longer exciting or stimulating. Not that they aren’t great people because they are.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s me that doesn’t fit into the social norm. Why can’t I be satisfied with a regular group of people that are wonderful.

Right now I’m staring through the tree canopy into the evening sky wishing I was somewhere else.

I dream of a bigger life that is lived and not just visited.

This song by Xavier Rudd says it’s all.

~L

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

What’s up folks?! It is a beautiful sunny Friday afternoon and I am writing this from the marina in Rocky River Reservation! I was hoping to rent a kayak today and get out on the water but 41 Degrees North does not officially open unti tomorrow. Sooooo totally bummed dudes!!!

So I had a wonderful opportunity to speak at my friend Linda’s meetup group last weekend! There were plenty of nice folks with tons of great questions. So lets dive right in!

The most asked question:

Q. Where do I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night?

A. Um, in the almost nine months I have been doing this I have yet to go number 1 or 2 in the middle of the night. I usually stop drinking liquids aboout 2 hours before I go to bed and if I am parched and need to drink it will be around 5 ounces max. Just enough to quench my thirst!

Q. Where do I shower?

A. I have a gym membership at Planet Fitness and I can use any one of thier gyms anywhere in the country. My gym opens at 5am so when I wake up I just drive on over and use the bathroom, workout and then shower!

Q. Where do I get my mail and how do I file taxes and renew my passport?

A. I have a UPS address that I use. This allows me to have a street address with a unit number. I filed my taxes this year and did not have any issues.

Q. What about privacy?

A. At night I have little curtains that I hang up. I also had my windows professionally tinted to have more privacy.

Q. Where do I park?

A. When I am out roadtripping: I park at rest stops, campgrounds, BLM land (Bureau of Land Management) and side streets in little towns.

When I am in Cleveland and working I park in friends or families driveways especially if I get off of work at 11:30 pm and am too tired to drive. I will also go out to the turnpike and sometimes hotel parking lots. I have not parked in a Walmart parking lot. lol…

Q. Do I have a CCW (concealed weapon).

A. No I do not. I have bear spray and if you have ever used bear spray it is really hard to miss the target and it is totally debilitating!

Q. What about my love life?

A. I don’t hide my lifestyle from guys. They either accept it or they don’t. And as far as inimacy goes…it doesn’t happen in my car!!!!

Q. What do I do in the winter when it is really cold?

A. This past winter I slept in my car on the coldest of nights! I have a really great sleepin bag and sleep system in general. That is the key to staying warm and toasty! That and a knitted/fleece lined hat! I DO NOT keep my car running. I warm it up and then turn off the engine!

Q. Am I tired of it yet?

A. That is a Heck no! I love it. I love the freedom it brings and the minimalist lifestyle.

Q. What am I going to do about the summer heat?

A. This one I am still working on. Right now I have a few more weeks of cooler night so I have time to figure it out. I’d like to set up a three month permanent camp somewhere.

Q. What do I do about food?

A. I was never a big cook to begin with. I would do eggs and veggie burgers but that is about it. When I am in Cleveland I go to the market just about every day for fresh fruits and veggies,. When I am traveing I pack a cooler. I do brew coffee though as that is quick and easy and neccesary! lol

That is all of the questions I can think of rigt now. If you have any more please feel free to ask in the comment section of this post!

Peace, love and bubbles

~L

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.?

Henry Wadswort Longfellow

The blades were course and new. They were curved, arcing just before the top narrowed into a fine point. And although the the blades were course with the newness of spring, in bunches they were soft to the touch on the soles of my feet. Rich, soft blades drenched in green from the sun, rain and earth. The blades of grass make an earthly blanket so soft that it feels like heaven.

The grass gave way to the trees as if they, in a unified force were thrusting the trees upwards towards the sky chanting “Grow, grow, grow strong trees for the forest needs you!” The trees grew strong with the help of the forest. Branches began to sprout buds and the buds blossomed into flowers, leaves and food. The trees stood proud and gave renewed life to the birds, squirrels, other beautiful beings puttering in, out and about its entirety.

To be cont…

~L

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Even though I was on the road for a total of 17 hours this weekend I got into my car this morning to drive to work and as I headed east on the high-way I loved the feeling of having the windows down and my arm dangling out the window into the wind and watching the sunrise. Dudes it is these tiny moments that just make me feel so great! I got to watch the sun come up, planes come into land at the airport, other people driving to work busy with their mornings and even though the world was busy the sun just did its thing and the world just kept turning and I just kept being happy!

So drive on towards the sun everyone and smile towards the sky!

~L

” Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to thing.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I am a pretty confident person in many ways. I am not afraid to speak my mind. I am not afraid to stand up for someone else nor myself when the time calls for it. I have had dreams that I made come true. I have been places and done things that most people would never dream to do out of fear of the unknown. But, for as many things that I am confident in there is an equal amount that I am not confident in. Let me let you in on what makes me feel small and hiding the background.

This is my list in no particular order.

Men.

Men that I am interested in because I feel that when they get to know me, all of me, they will be disappointed in the fact that I am still a women who wants to be loved inspite of all her scars and insecurities. I am an adventurer but there are times when my confidence is low and I want a man to be there to hold me and tell me it is going to be alright.

Money.

I grew up in a family that was solid and loving but we lived paycheck to paycheck. I am very intimidated by money. I do not make a lot of money. In fact I started a small organizing business and felt guilty charging clients what numerous sources said I should be charging so I low-balled myself by $25/hr. I know what it is like to need something and not be able to afford it whether it is a specific item or service. I also believe that if I don’t have a lot of money then it will keep me from becoming greedy. I have a fear of having money.

Being my best physical healthy self.

This one boggles me as I love to be active but for some reason I hide behind a few extra layers because if they aren’t attracted to me then they cannot hurt me and leave me so why bother trying. I figure if a guy doesn’t want to date me then what will a double scoop of Mitchell’s icecream hurt? This is by far my worst defense mechanism.

I am not writing these things because I am wanting pity. I am writing these things because I have never said them out loud to anyone, let alone myself. I am going to give myself a Mulligan on these first 4 months and start ab ovo (<—to start over.) From this moment forward I am going do my best to better my self esteem and relationship with my physical self, money and men.

Spirtually I have grown so much over the last 5 years. I feel like I am in wonderful spiritual place where I am ready to tackle the issues that I believe are holding me back a little and the ones I would like to do much better in.

When your spiritual self is solid other things become clearer.

Much peace, much love and many bubbles of confdence,

~L

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Good morning beautiful world!

I am currently house sitting for my old neighbor who lives in my old old apartment! (I moved three times in the two and half years I lived in this building) lol… I did love this building with it pre-WWII character such as skeleton key locks and creaky hardwood floors. Dude I am not going to lie, it is a little weird being back in the apartment building I willingly choose to leave to start a new life adventure. It is even weirder staying in my old old apartment pattering around but being surrounded by things that are not mine! Somehow the fluidity of movement around the space has not changed. I feel like I am in an alternate universe…lol. I can’t stop laughing as I write this..(could be the amount of coffee I had already.)

So over the next few days I will be enjoying the benefit of domestic stability but I KNOW I will be itching to get back to my happy nomadic life. Seriously.. 🙂

The other crazy cool thing that is happening that I am so totally stoked about is that in few weeks I am going back to the unit at the Cleveland Clinic that I started out in and left when I decided to move to California. How crazy is that?!?!?! In a sense I feel like I am going “home?”. My life if fun, hilarious, trying at times but never dull 😉

I left that unit in 2006 and trekked out west the day after my 29th birthday craving a crazy new life experience. Now 12 years later almost to the day I am going back to the unit where I will spend my time working and having more freedom to plan my next life adventure! I feel like that unit and my amazing nurse manager are kind of like my home base before I launch out into something new. The BEST part is that I am going back to a place that is nurturing, understanding and exciting. Dudes though it’s funny how your perspective changes after being gone.

Anyways I just felt like I had to write a little diddy about how you don’t really ever leave people and places behind. You meet them again, hug them and thank them for the roles they did play and will play in your life. It is great to be “home” temporarily and it feels great to going “home” temporarily.

What a funny, twisty, crazy, fun, sometimes weird life one travels. Gosh darn it, I LOVE IT!

Peace, love and beautiful adventurous bubbles,

~L

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I love you.  To you, all of you, who have supported my dream without question, for you know that it is important for me to ramble.  

~L

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”  

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

How many people are truly happy being themselves?  I mean really, what does it take to be one’s true self?  We live in a world where everything is just full of Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat photos that say,  “My life is so perfect!”

Why are people afraid to live outside of what society as a collective whole expects of them?  I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and my journey into willingly moving into my car and completely and totally downsizing my life.  Recently my iPhone 6 took a swim and instead of paying the insurance deductible on it and replacing it I went back to a flip phone and I have been absolutely loving it.  I thought without my iPhone that I would be missing out or not be connected to things that I felt were important to me.  For instance extreme athletes Instagram pages and finding inspiration in them.  When really this past week I found a lot of inspiration, at the risk of sounding corny, inspiration within myself.   I’m looking at these athletes on Instagram and I’m thinking, “Wow okay if only I could eat right and be like them, only if I could move there and do those certain things my life would be so much fuller!”  But really when I cut back all the noise I found the silence completely fulfilling.  Not that those athletes aren’t an inspiration, they are! They inspire and drive and create and promote an amazing lifestyle.  But sometimes you get caught up in wanting that lifestyle that you’re spending more time on the couch watching it through pictures then actually living it yourself!

I would say that my true self, my authentic being is a person who just wants to wake up and be free.  A person who wants to experience so many different sunrises everywhere.  A person who still at the age that I am gets giddy like a kid because the sunrise is so amazing and the lake is totally rumblinbg with passion that it puts a smile on my face that is so big I can’t contain it and I let out the most ridiculous laugh!  

This morning I went to the gym and then I sat in Starbucks reading the newspaper which is one of my favorite things to do.  I love drinking a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper, I absolutely love it.  As I sat there a while all cozy next to the fireplace I looked at the time on my phone and I was like, “Oh my gosh I have to go I’m going to miss the colors!”  So I drove down to the lake and sure enough I missed an amazing sunrise.  I did take some beautiful pictures on my tablet but I found myself apologizing to the sun and to the earth and to the lake because I should have been there sooner to witness the combined beauty of them.  But then I had a thought, I realized that the sunrise, the lake and the sky are the loves of my life.  That may sound quirky or aloof to some of you reading this but nothing brings me more joy than that.  I love my family I really do but the smile that creeps across my face when I watch the sun peak over the horizon and the colors that it paints against the morning sky or when I wake up early early enough to where I watch the stars fade into daylight, there’s nothing like it.

I am this blog.  I was once accused of being too wild and free or wanting to be too wild and free.  But I can’t imagine being any other way.  I could not imagine not feeling that way or waking up being afraid to feel that way.  That is who I am,  I’m a restless exploring soul and I love it.  

Live Who You Are.  Live your life who you really are without any boundaries. If you quiet the noise in the world you will hear yourself loud and clear.

~L

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think. ”

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Let me tell ya’ll about the beautiful, amazing, scenic, kind, warm and lovely place I stayed for the first six days of my New England trip.

There is this wonderful point about 50 minutes north of the southern border of Maine.  A sleepy little point called Biddeford Pool.

My friend lives there and her parents as well.  I stayed at the beachy idyllic home of the Emhiser’s.  Bill and Marysue welcomed me into their home and took the absolute best care of me.

They have a cute home with classic shingle wood siding and authentic beach motif from the area.  The home is a relaxing mix of lobster buoys, sea glass, driftwood complete with a driftwood mirror Bre made from the local beach finds and art made by the family.  You automatically just breathe easier and the tension falls away the minute your drive onto the point and even more so when you enter their home.

When I arrived Bill made me a delicious cocktail and Marysue gave me the warmest hug!  They made coffee in the morning and poured me a hot cup when I would eventually drag myself out of the cozy guest bedroom upstairs.  The bedroom:  amazingly comfortable queen size bed with soft sheets,  shelves made of driftwood, fresh flowers from Bre’s floral shoppe and views of the ocean!  I slept long and hard that week.

Sipping on coffee, that was placed in my hands without me even so much as uttering syllable, I would sit on the sofa chatting away or out on the chairs on the front deck watching the waves roll in and listening to them crash onto the shore.

Bre and I would then take off for the day visiting all sorts of awesome places.  On Tuesday night we came back to the house to a fire in the fire pit where Bill was just about to lay four lobsters marinated in some kind of crazy goodness to cook over the open flame.

Bill is a funny guy!  He posed for this picture and had me cracking up!  Marysue is an amazing chef as well and they both lay out the most amazing table.  I mean seriously I thought I was sitting down to a table from William Sonoma!  I of course took pictures but can’t find them (they’re probably on a cloud somewhere..lol)

Behind Bill’s left shoulder in the picture is the awesome outdoor shower that I showered in the first day.  Sooooo totally awesome dudes!

That night we at drank wine, ate lobster, corn on the cob and seriously Marysue made an AWESOME AWESOME coleslaw!  I could have eaten the entire bowl of it.  In fact when we were taking the dishes into the kitchen there was only a little bit left and I ate it right out that bowl.  I mean you can’t waste food and there wasn’t enough for anyone else, but me.  Hahaha..

All the mornings were filled with coffee and all the nights were filled with delicious food whether homemade or take-out from a local joint and the cocktails flowed freely.

I cannot express how welcome and at ease Marysue and Bill made me feel.  Their warmth and kindness was a highlight of the trip because I truly felt welcome.  For the last three days of my stay I was racking my brain trying to think of a gift to thank them for ALL that they did for me but couldn’t come up with one.  Cooking was out as I cannot cook and they have all the wine in the world!  I am still trying to figure this one out.  (sigh)

But I want to say THANK YOU to two of the coolest people!  I hope to see you soon!

~Lori

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

 

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So pretty much everything I ate went well with the Ship Yard beer I drank and drank and drank.  I ate everything that is quintessential New England like clam chowder, crab rolls, copious amount of lobster in various plate settings, muscles and even a Holy Doughnut made from potatoes!  Everything was totally delicious and I am pretty sure I gained about 7 pounds on this trip as I only hit the gym one time (yay for Planet Fitness being everywhere!) and the only other kind of exercise I received was racking up 7 miles of walking around Boston.

Massachusetts is old.  I know you’re thinking, “Duuuhh!”  But seriously I felt like I was cramped up everywhere I went.  Not in a bad way though but in a holy crap this place is old and they made stuff really tiny kind of way.  The streets are narrow and make almost no sense.  For instance we stopped to visit the Salem Witch Museum and the traffic around that place wasn’t as busy as it was disorganized.  If you have a penchant for quirky seventies themed Vincent Price voice over exhibits, this place is for you!  You’ll have to part with $12 precious dollars that you may as well just light on fire in front of you because that would be more entertaining.   I don’t believe they updated the exhibit since the place first opened shortly after the witch trials were over.

Lol…  Bad museums aside Massachusetts is a pretty cool place.  The towns are just as you would picture.  They are all nestled in between several hundred year old oaks trees, the streets are narrow and the roofs steep.  Sometimes the houses are right on top of the street and you have to be careful not get run over by the disorganized traffic when the side walk suddenly disappears and you find yourself in a game of “human Frogger.”  Growing up in the mid-west I never saw a house that had a plaque stating is was built in 1736.  Can you imagine how many spirits haunt that joint?!  I’d love to spend the night in one but would probably be so scared that I’d pee myself running out of the house!

We spent an entire day roaming around Boston.  Boston is like any other city with the old and new parts except Boston never stopped giving history lessons the entire day and we didn’t even cover all of it!  First and foremost I wanted to have breakfast at a local diner.  We hiked across town to the south side of Boston and ate a diner called Mull’s.  Now nothing about the food or the diner was overly spectacular but the PEOPLE made the place one of my favorites places in the city.  These were real Bostonians.  Not people from the burbs or people who transferred from other states.  The people walking into this place were born and raised in the neighborhood and proudly refer to themselves as “southie’s and they have that undeniable Boston accent that I seriously could have listened to all day.  Side note: being an Italian, German, Hungarian girl with a temper to prove it (sometimes), I would not mess with anyone from this neighborhood.  One woman came into to the place to buy bacon for her husband (please picture a brassy ballsy  small petite blonde Bostonian chatting with a friend at the counter), “Heck if I’m gahna cook ovah a hot greasy skillet just cause he wahnts bacon on his sandwich he’s taking fah lunch!  I ain’t cookin’ that fah him this marhning! I told him he can cook it himself oah I’d walk down and buy it!”  (or something to that effect..lol)  Anyways when I go back to Boston this place will be my first stop!

 

We then walked along a stretch of the city covered in art.  One place even had sidewalk chalk so you can create art yourself.  I, not even able to draw stick people freehand, chose to write the names of my awesome nieces and nephews on the sidewalks of Boston.

The history in Boston is UNBELIEVABLE!  I sat inside the Old North Church that was the launch for Paul Revere’s ride!  Totally wish I went to that church because if you get a “cubicle” (I don’t know what they are called) that sits beside a pillar I am pretty sure I could nap during a boring sermon without being seen.  This church opened in 1723 and is still holding services every Sunday.  It was way totally cool to sit inside that place and really feel the history of it.  We walked along parts of the Freedom Trail

and that led us to Boston’s North End (Little Italy.)

We went to a place called Mike’s and I had the biggest cannoli I had ever laid eyes upon.  Sorry I haven’t a picture but I devoured the ricotta cannoli before I even had a thought to take a photo.  This thing was so darn good it gives Gallucci’s  on E. 66th and Euclid in Cleveland a run for it’s money.  After eating the giant cannoli, because “when in Rome”, we walked across the street to a pizza place for pizza where we found two Italian tourist couples who were ordering slices of pizza and beer and the hot guy behind the counter whom I assumed was just a regular dude started conversing with them in fluent Italian!!!!  Swoon!

Boston is a must see no matter where you are from.  That city is patriotic and makes your feel your strong American roots!

I didn’t make it to the site of the Boston Tea Party nor many other historic places in Boston but that just means I’ll have to go back!…

~Lori

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadworth Longfellow