Freedom in a tiny space…


The familiar whiff of freedom.  The feeling of total euphoria when I leave some place because my time there had run its course.  The giant giddy smile that creeps across my face as my dreams start to unfold in the most organic of ways.  The optimism that is ever present in my mind that fuels my desires and keeps my wheels perpetually turning without effort.

I have been trying to find a place that I could sit, have a beer and write this out.  I finally found a great neighborhood bar, Gormley’s.  My neighborhood is too busy and the adjoining ones can be a bit stuffy.  So I moseyed up the road to a place that I have passed by several times and never stopped at.  I have been here 15 minutes and the barkeep (Joe) is nice as can be, welcoming and doesn’t care if I sit here, sip beer and write out my thoughts. Thanks man.

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Road to peace
So dudes… I have written on the blog before about my crazy life moment traveling through Blackfeet Reservation and how that led to my 5 year plan.  Well let me tell you where I am going.

I have had this RESTLESS (yes it needs to capitalized..lol) feeling for months now.  I have been thinking about materialism, challenges, freedom, happiness, monetary liberation and how to get the heck out of this slump of entrapment that I was living on a daily basis.  I have come to accept the fact that even after being back a for years and seeing all my friends and family settled down all cozy in that homey existence and thinking that it may rub off on me, that no matter what, I don’t have that gene!  That gene that wants to nest and build a stationary life.  So one day I was coming home, again…from work, and going through the same routine and saying to my self, “I cannot do this anymore.”  I asked myself how am I going to grow and live and thrive?  I thought by now I’d meet a guy and converge our lives and interests and there would be a mutual respect for each others desires and dreams.  That we’d let each other be their awesome authentic selves while exploring our mutual interests.  Well that hasn’t happened, although I thought I might have been close but…nope.  But gosh did I really like this one guy and thought, “maybe!”  I even asked this guy,  “If this thing were to go extra innings and I were to live in a grounded home with you, would you be okay with me traveling for three consecutive weeks out of the year because you know that it is vital for me to ramble?”  I am adaptable!  But he flat out said no.  So I continue on with my life’s wants and hope that one day I may share them with an awesome adventurous man.

So what have I done?!  I down sized the heck out of my life!  I sold most of my things, gave away a few, donated a ton and put a few mementos in storage and moved into a tiny home on wheels. 😁  And. I. Love. It!!!!  I am mobile, free, unconfined, and giddy with exploration.  I wanted to wait a while before I shared this with anyone.  I am sure my Ma knows as she is no dummy.  But neither am I.  I have researched and contemplated and really dug down deep to figure out whether or not I am capable of doing this.  I moved into my vehicle.  A good friend went along with my crazy plan and helped me build a platform bed for my car.  Which is AWESOME!  The platform folds up nicely so you’d never know that someone moved into such a tiny space!  I have researched safety, livability and weather.  A little side note about weather.  I am not a martyr.  When the weather turns to absolute crap I will be renting a room or an efficiency!..lol!

I have been talking about living in a tiny house for a while now.   What better way to figure out if you can live in a very small place then to live in your car for a bit?!  And let me say this.  I am doing this because I 150% want to, NOT because I had to.  My dear sweet landlord even tried to talk me out of it for three straight days and even up to the moment when the new tenant was to sign their lease he said I could back out of my plan and stay. Thank you Ted.  You are awesome and I thank you for your worry and love.

More to come…

~L

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

Spatter of rain, family of geese, river flowing, yoga mat, coffee and sounds of Momma Earth… Darn good morning 🌎☕️

 

I found a little cove this morning carved into the side of the river.  I have a little confluence flowing right in front of my yoga mat and a little geese family just across the river on the north east bank.  My feet are bare and as I dig them into the cool river the rest of my body awakens.  If coffee isn’t doing the trick for ya this morning go dip your feet in the river!  

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I’m telling you, I could live outside. Well in a tent with my man.  I could spend my days meandering up and down the water, splitting wood, cooking over a fire.   I dream of living off the grid.  Not in a hermit kind of way but in people lovin’, close enough to a town with good beer then escape to solitude kind of way.  Close enough but far enough.  Does that make sense?  

Anyways I have to go…

Peace, love and nature,

~L

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Quiet walk at dusk…🌅

I set out for a walk through my neighborhood this evening unsure if I was going to walk to the lake or through the park.   I found myself meandering down the hill into the park. It was quiet.  The sun was just starting to set and the evening breeze rustled through the canopies of the tall oaks and maples.  A slight stillness hung in the air as if time stopped and I was all alone in the park.  

Moments like these make me look around  and wonder what it was like there in that same spot 200 years ago.  

I strolled on down through the marina past the boats and a handful of fisherman young and old hoping to catch one last fish before the darkness settled. 

I love where I live.  The river, lake and my favorite metropark in the whole world are all in my backyard.  How lucky am I?!  

As I walked back home I noticed the moon dangling above white and pink clouds that were hanging stretched out over the Hilliard bridge surrounded by lush green trees.  The sun was working its magic casting the perfect glow.

Now, as the cooler night breeze whispers through my windows and the birds are all tucked in their nests, I too must go to sleep.  

~L

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Dawn is breaking and it is aaaawesome ✌🏻️☀️🌎☕️🌊🌄

Sunrises are my thing dudes!  Sometimes when I wake up before the sun I check the weather app to check the time of the sunrise.  


Dawn is when I feel most peaceful, hopeful and inspired.  It’s a pure fresh day that has limitless potential.  Potential to be something extraordinary ☀️.  The love I feel is off the hooook!  I get giddy like a kid on who has a million dollars to spend at the candy store!

This time if year is the best because all ya do is throw on some pants and a t-shirt and head out the door barefoot (flip flops in hand) and vroom.. Just take off on your bike, feet, skateboard, car or whatever, head to grab coffee (most of the time I make it at home) and off to the sunrise I go.  


Right now I have to go…go and say hello ✌🏻️

May you all soak up the sun’s rays and set your positive intentions for the day and make it an awwwwesome one 🌄☕️🌎☀️✌🏻️😁

~L

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The Ebb and Flow of Life: Let Them Go (the soul suckers) and Let it Flow (the positive energy).

 


It’s spring and the flowers and trees are blooming with renewed life and the smell of fresh cut grass is in the air!  The sun, holy cow the sun is back baby!!  This is a great time for a little self realization.   Here’s mine… (please read this with sincerity, humor and a learning curve.)

Lately (as in the past few years)  I’ve been periodically stuck in others negative energy and have intermittently lost my focus.  It isn’t their fault, it’s mine.  I’m not talking about just one person.  I’m talking about a few people who have been in my life for a little while now.  This solid meditation practice that I have can sometimes disappear when I need it most, into thin air just like a ghost!  (#iloverhyming 😆)

What happens when you get caught up in others negative energy and why does it happen?  Well first let’s talk about why.

Dudes, I am a helper.  I want to help you cross the street, open a jar of pickles for you, get you through a life crisis, tell you your fly is down, listen to your problems, meditate with you, tuck your shirt tag in, make you smile on a particularly crappy day, hug you, do your dishes, hangout with you when I just want to go to bed, get you through the moment with fresh brewed coffee and LOTS of nature.  I will listen to you until I’m blue in the face.  And sometimes I become romantically involved because I fall for the tragedy aaaand I feel needed by you. (<–I know what my issues are…lol)

But guess what?!?!?!  I’m not a therapist.  I know right?.. You totally thought I was😆.  I don’t have a license, a certificate nor anything of the sort.   When I finally do wake up and realize that the line between being a good friend and getting involved too deeply (a.k.a. therapist/and or lover) has been crossed, well it’s too late.  I’m already all in.  When in reality I’m not in at all.  I’m on the sidelines of their life and I’m only called into the game when the score is so darn low and they just need a body because the star player is exhausted from trying too hard to prove to everyone they are awesome but they aren’t that awesome because they are clearly losing the game.  (Obvious tidbit: Star player being themselves, the soul sucker.)

So why are these types of people attracted to me?  Well I have been told it is because I’m optimistic, carefree, fun loving, kind, strong and independent.  (also I like to be needed [bad I know])  There is something they see in me that they are missing in their own life and they will suck you dry until they can get their hands on just a piece of your whimsical free lovin’ soul.  They will prey upon your “helper” personality because it temporarily relieves them of their own internal hellish crisis.

Here’s what’s obvious but I feel needs to be said.  You can’t bring anyone happiness if they aren’t happy with themselves or aren’t willing to receive it.  

Total “duh” moment I know…🙄

 

spring renewal
“If you watch how nature deals with adversity, continually renewing itself, you can’t help but learn.” ~Bernie Siegel, M.D.

This is where the soul suckers come in.  But first the definition (this is my own made up definition so don’t go all “legal” on me..lol) of a Soul Sucker: one who depletes you of your positive energy so they may live in happiness for the moment before returning to lives they are not happy with and the negative energy that surrounds them.  Soul suckers are either too proud or too stuck or both, to want to change themselves for the better.  They see no way out of the situation and therefore they cling onto others.   Helpers are the “pill” they pop to get them through the day.
Now I’m not saying these people are total and complete turds.  Some have been through very very very rough times.  However that does not give anyone the “I have free pass to act like this because my past is so tragic” card.  Everyone has a past and a lot have one that was not fair but that does not excuse horrible or bad behavior over an extended period of time.  Soul suckers don’t want to be soul suckers.  These are people that are so stuck in their own junk that they don’t feel as if there is a way out and they morph into soul suckers.

I’m not telling anyone how to overcome fear, grief, loss, loneliness, abandonment or depression.  I have just finally realized that don’t have the tools nor the education to help beyond a listening ear for a short period of time.  When someone keeps telling you the same story or the same “oh woe is me” tale, it’s time to go.  (The only thing I want on repeat is my favorite song while attempting to lift weights. 😜)  No one should deplete your positive vibes.

Keep those positive vibes rollin’!

  Go ahead people, share those positive vibes but know when to move on or else your positive will turn to negative and it can take some time before your higher energy frequency returns.  And don’t worry about that person after you choose to cut those ties.   Wish them love, peace and clarity and release them.  They will either find peace or find another person with a high positive energy level to prey upon because they aren’t yet ready (consciously or subconsciously) to seek the true help they so really do need.  (we all need help, some just more than others.)

Obvious tidbit:  I am not perfect.  I have my own issues to deal with.  I have total crappy moments that can last several days!  Think of mid-winter, no sun (and you’ve forgotten there ever was one), period, no date nor prospect of one on the horizon and/or the need to eat so I may hibernate all winter like a bear.  Yes, bad moments can last. I myself went through a super very very very crappy time forever ago and it affected my life in many ways.  It was horrible and it took a loooong time to come to terms with, but I never intentionally hurt anyone.

What I’m saying here is that you have to keep yourself in the forefront at all times.  Being around that negative energy can make you do things you never thought you would.  This is why I say they suck you dry because it’s then, when you have nothing left, that you surrender to their lip service.   You believe what they say.  You enter their world of perpetual sadness and selfishness.  When you do reach your breaking point you are so ready to let go and you see the light and run towards it full speed ahead.  But don’t think you’ll get there scott free.  There are still feelings of “what if”,  abandonment, loneliness, shame and just feeling bummed.  Don’t fear my peeps.  If you are a naturally happy loving person you’ll sooner rather than later realize that you feel better when they aren’t in your sphere.  You’ll want to surround yourself with positive people and those positive people will only lift your spirits higher.   Which brings me to this:  If someone doesn’t voluntarily celebrate you and your accomplishments and dreams, then see ya later alligator.  If you have to convince someone to spend time with you, then ciao dude I gotta go.  If someone can’t make the effort to be there for/with you if they are sure they won’t be getting anything in return then take that red flag and haul butt as far away from them as possible.

You have to know when to hold em’know  when to fold em’, know when to walk away and know when to run…thank you Kenny Rogers!!!!!

These are hard lessons people!  The heart is complex strong willed organ and sometimes your head has to step in and say,  “Look stupid, Brain here, I can’t take much more of this and the rest of us, muscles, bones and nerves need a break!”

Does this mean that you give up on those soul sucking people?  NO WAY DUDE!   You keep them in your meditations and prayers but only wishing them mental clarity, love and peace.  No dwelling on what was or what could have been if only things were different.  MOVE ON.  By keeping the negative energy around you, you block the positive from coming in.  Like the old saying, “misery loves company.”

One day you will be able to be friends with these people.  You’ll be able to put the past aside and embrace them.  For right now though they are not contributing to your life in a positive way.  It’s like being at a bakery, everything tastes so good until it makes you sick.

I choose to divert my path towards positive energy.  Maybe one day they will rejoin you on your path, your positive path.

Until then keep your mind free of negative clutter, embrace positive people, love like a wild person, point your face towards the sun and let it flow flow flow.  Recreate yourself, renew yourself, put yourself first, make amends where needed and move forward.

Love, peace and everything in between,

Lori

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadworth Longfellow (clearly this dude practiced meditation!)

 

Happy and Goofy, kids and uptight adults are watching you! 😁 😂

Never one to shy away from being goofy 😆.  (Hard to believe this gorgeous pic only received 8 likes 😂)  This is a picture my niece Kelly took of me while we were sitting at a little Italian cafe called Presti’s in Cleveland’s Little Italy neighborhood.  After desserts we were feeling weird and goofy, probably due to being hopped up on sugar, so we took pics of each being ridiculooouus!  (Kelly’s pic will not be made public due to my sisters request which I totally respect!). 

Anyways I wish more people would be goofy!  My sister Lisa isn’t afraid to be!  She has a snap chat that is hilarious 🤓 

What if we took ourselves less serious and laughed more, goofed off more, smiled more and told more clean hilarious jokes?!   (I’m so over vulgar jokes). 

So right now I’m laying in bed at midnight and wide awake.  Hence writing this post on my iPhone.  


The best times I have are with my nutty 9 nieces and nephews because it is an all out free ticket to act like a big goofy kid.  When kids see you happy then they are happy.  They feed off the emotions around them.  When they see love, they emit love.  Science has proved this time and again.  By science I mean… Well science I guess. 

But let’s get back to adults.  I was in the bookstore the other day with a good friend of mine and we had the same blah adult conversation.  Nothing funny was said and nothing funny happened.  We used to goof around a lot.  I know she is a parent and that’s a big responsibility, I’m trying to get a small business off the ground and that’s a big responsibility but geeeeez, it is nice to let loose sometimes with one of your good girl friends!  Sara, we need a mulligan on that one! Now I’m not saying to act a fool all the time but dude go ahead and reach in to grab your inner kid and yank them out from time to time!  

Dating.  Well I’m on hiatus from that scene (dating at this age stinks) but I’ll chat about this topic anyways.   I like to date a guy who can be uber goofy.  Not just a sense of humor but one who can take joking around to a whole other level!  

I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE to laugh!  Especially with a man I’m dating.  It is a turn on and it shows me that he isn’t afraid to let his inner kid out.  And he doesn’t give a crap about what others think about him all the time.  Verbal and physical comedy from a man, DOUBLE whammie!  

I like to make the people I come into contact with at work laugh too.  It lightens the mood and puts them at ease.  

Laughter is the best medicine.   Smiles are contagious.  People love to laugh.  Laughing makes people happy.  Happy adults, happy kids, happy future for the world. 

Peace, love and goofiness,

~Wild Flowers Lori

P.S. “Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Happy Herny Wadsworth Longfellow 

What I am good at, according to me ;)


Cooking is not one of them.  I have the most highly sensitive smoke detector on this earth.  Or…even the smoke detector does not like my cooking.  And it’s not even really cooking for Pete’s sake.  It is grilled “cheese” and fried “pet chicken” eggs.  Gosh darn it, I was sage-ing my place tonight, you know to get rid it of bad energy and possibly not so nice spirits that may be lurking around a 100 year old building, and the darn smoke detector went off.  I. Mean. Really?

So no, if it involves the stove or the freakin’ oven for that matter, I am not good at it.

So things I am good at.

Optimism 😀  Totally 9.9999999999 times out of 10 I will see the bright side of things.  Dude, why get upset.  What is done, is done.  Learn, grow, move forward in a positive direction.

People.  I LOVE people.  I love hearing their stories, their awesome experiences and most of all, how a couple that has been married for a loooong time, has met.

Which leads me to this random tangent.

My folks, Donnie and Gina met one night while my dad was sitting on the stoop of a house with is good buddy Nick Perazola.  Walking down the street towards them was my ma and her friend whose name escapes me.  I am not sure who wore what color but as the story goes they had on matching Penn State sweatshirts.  The only difference being one was white with blue lettering and the other was blue with white lettering.  HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!  Talk about yin, yang.  Married almost 50 years (this year on September 21) and together over 54 years, they are good at marriage.  They love and fight like hell.  But they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Okay back to the list of things I am good at….

I can love like no other.  When I am with you, I am with you.  But don’t be mistaken…..I am also totally great at being without you.  Life is what it is.  The ups and downs, the rivers and oceans, the canyons and ravines.  I find my way around them because if you don’t, you’ll be just a mere shell of a being.   But it is better to navigate with a partner 😀

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My picture…somewhere over Utah.  By train 2010.  

I am not good at finishing an apartment.  I have lived here for over 2 years and I have never painted nor have I bought more than one kitchen chair for my kitchen table.  Maybe I will buy another chair when I settle down with my guy.  (I haven’t met him yet…hehehehe!)  Or maybe I have and it’s all on the universes timing.  Who the hell knows.

I am good at getting myself mentally and physically lost in the woods.  I know myself well enough that if I don’t get out of town and deep into the woods I start to be “not so nice.”

I am good at Halloween decorating..just ask my sister Lisa.

I am good at amazing stupid joke telling…just ask my sister Lana.

I am good at reminding my brother that his “big man status” at work is no match for him succumbing to his three little sisters who won’t let him forget he is still out numbered.  ;D

I am not good at following through…on reupholstering this awesome vintage chair that I bought at an estate sale 4 years ago.  Still the same hideous fabric since the day I bought it.

I am good at collecting driftwood.  A piece has to have some artful effect on me.  I have to look at it and imagine it’s journey and what it went through to get to that beach.  The pieces I do have dance with one another.  🙂

Acceptance.  I am good at that.  Didn’t used to be but I am now.  I accept the good, bad and the ugly.

I am verrrrrry good at road tripping!  Probably my first love.  It’d be pretty cool to have a dog and dude to road trip with.  Any takers?!

Adventuring.  I am goooood at that.  Any takers?!

~Lori

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

 

Taking RISKS. Read this dudes…it’s short, lol!


Hmmmm…. I cooouuuuld send out my stuff to an outdoorsy magazine.  I mean my friend Tom threw a copy Backpacker’s Magazine in front of me a couple of weekends ago and said, “You should submit your stuff.  I don’t know why you don’t.”  That made me nervous, shy and humbled and (I’m not gonna lie) a little George McFly nerd like. You know when George laughs like…..

I mean what the heck is holding me back except my own “No way dude, they won’t like my stuff” attitude.  I don’t consider myself a writer.  I hated English class elementary school through college.  Structured sentences, punctuation, grammar.  I mean if any of you have read this blog before you KNOW I am not the best at any of the aforementioned things.  I just type words that spew from my head.  I converse with myself and my fingers just type and then sometimes my brain says, “Lori,  that is not spelled right.  Google the correct spelling please.”  I am not a wordsmith nor a poet.  I liken it to non-verbal diarrhea.

But none the less, why wouldn’t I throw caution into the wind and submit something.  I guess it’s because magazines are so clear cut on what topic they want and how long they want it to be.  I get it..they have to sell something and the space is limited.  Like apartments in NYC or San Francisco.  It’s like that scene from When Harry Met Sally…

“Sally: At least I got the apartment.

Harry: That’s what everybody says to me too. But really what’s so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is, you read the obituary column. Yeah, you find out who died, and go to the building and then you tip the doorman. What they can do to make it easier is to combine the obituaries with the real estate section. Say, then you’d have Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two children, and a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning fireplace.

Clear and concise with minimal words as to leave enough room for advertising!

Anyways….😂😂😂

When is the last time any of you people have taken a chance on something or someone?  I let my niece drive home the other day.  She doesn’t have her temps yet but I took the chance on the fact that she is an intelligent young lady and is capable of going 25mph, lol.  When you are in the passenger seat and a non driver is driving, 25 mph is like warp speed!

So let’s get back to this 5 year plan I talked about a couple of blog posts ago.  If I want to achieve my goal I have to take a chance and submit some writing stuff.  I am trying really hard to do things in a certain order.  Yes, that is right, in order, which is a far cry from how I have lived my life thus far.   But I’m an adult now and adults do things an “adulty” way!

So I will continue to write about things that inspire me while trying to get my little busimess  business, off the ground.

~Lori

P.S. I heart Michael J. Fox!

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

 

Rape.

(This is topic enrages me.  Click on the hyperlinks)


 

Let’s talk about RAPE.  Let’s talk about how RAPE victims feel when someone makes a tasteless joke about RAPE.  How the parents feel or the spouse of a RAPE victim feels.

rape

Article one: A husband married to a RAPE victim and the father of three boys.

I am so completely ashamed and disappointed of the men in my life who think it is okay to joke about RAPE.  One friend referred to it as a tasteless joke that I am sure a comedian is telling somewhere in Los Angeles and the room full of people are laughing.  What a complete and total disappointment this person was in that moment as he is a married man with a young daughter.

About a year and a half ago I was riding in a car with two guys and woman coming home from a backpacking trip and one of the guys wouldn’t let up  on the RAPE joke topic and how it is “just a joke.”  This jerk has a wife and daughter.  The other guy has THREE daughters and did NOT ONCE stand up/back up me and the other female in the car when we vocalized we were NOT okay with it.  How TOTALLY disappointing!!!!  You are husbands and fathers.  The majority of RAPE victims are female and the father of three girls is too weak to be man enough to speak out against the disgusting guy defending RAPE jokes.

As a female RAPE is my biggest FEAR.

But what about the children who are RAPED?!  Girls and boys being RAPED.  Is that funny?  You complete, total selfish, ignorant people who think RAPE jokes are funny, what would you do if your child was RAPED?  Would you eventually be able to joke about it?  Could you joke about a child’s death?  Maybe you think it is okay to joke about RAPE because some RAPE victims survive.   You ignorant fool.  They carry the scars for the rest of their lives.  What happens if the person you joke about RAPE with happens to be the father of a RAPE victim who committed suicide?     Have you tried to save your child from death?

What about the elderly who are RAPED?  You think RAPE only happens to drunk college women?  You ignorant fool.  What would you do if your mother was RAPED?  Joke about it?

I have absolutely ZERO respect for women and men who joke about RAPE.

What I wouldn’t give for a man that is morally strong and vocally strong in defense of RAPE and it’s VICTIMS.  A man with a back bone and a conscience.  Where are they?!

What if you were forced to listen or watch as your wife and daughters were raped? 

How would you feel then?  Would you still joke?

Shame on you.  And I sure as heck pray for the people in your life who may one day be a victim of RAPE because on average every 98 seconds someone in the United States is RAPED.  Women, men, girls, boys, homosexuals, transgender…victims.

But then again…no one thinks it will ever happen to them or someone they love.

~Lori

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow