“This is intimacy: the trading of stories in the dark.
This act, the act of quiet night time talking, illustrates for me more than anything else the curious alchemy of companionship.”
~Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage.
I am reading the above mentioned book and I am slowing down my reading of it dramatically because it is one of those books that you don’t want to end. That aside, the above passage struck me with such force that I had to put the book down and savor those words. In such times as our current ones when intimacy typically means bra’s, underwear and sex, it is nice to be reminded that other more “innocent” things can be intimate. The art of conversing in the night with someone that makes you feel alive, safe and/or needed creates a kind and warm intimacy.
Continued from above…
“Because when Felipe described his father’s swimming stroke, I took that watery image and I stitched it carefully into the hem of my own life, and now I will carry that around with me forever. As long as I live, and even long after Felipe has gone, his childhood memory, his father, his river, his Brazil – all of this, too, has somehow become me.”
Once in a blue moon do I have those beautiful sacred conversations with someone where I carry a part of them with me. When someone is comfortable enough to share the most intimate parts of their life journey with me, I cannot help but keep it stored in my mind and heart. There was, are and will be moments in my life where the intimate conversations affect my thoughts and feeling and actions.
I still love to have long conversations face to face with someone. No phones, no computers, no tablets. Just two people sitting or laying around talking. Talking about what ever comes to mind. Whether it be adventures, life, work, dreams, family, or crazy silly things that comes to mind like airplanes being UFO’s…lol. You can share those thoughts.
A while ago I had a great night of conversation with a friend. We talked and laughed and almost peed our pants about so much into the wee hours of the morning! But, the lovely part was when he opened up to me about the losses in his life. When someone can share those thoughts and feel free to express those emotions, it means more to me than the rest of the conversation that night. There was trust. There was safety inside that space. There was a friendship that was being built.
I love when people share stories with me. It means that they trust me and I appreciate that. Just make sure that that person is willing to hear your stories too. You know someone is sincere as a friend, significant other or what have you, if they then in turn want to learn and know what is going on with you and really listen attentively.
So invite a friend over or cuddle up with significant other and turn off the electronic devices and connect through conversation. Also, look them in the eye. Why are people so afraid of looking at someone while having a conversation. Is eye contact too intimate? I don’t think so. I think it is just respectful. To see and hear someone is beautiful.
Peace, love and lots of good intimate conversation,
“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow