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Simple.  I love you.

  
~Lori

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 

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Hello beautiful people!

I had a really great weekend!  The weather was amazing, the conversations were insightful and I was able to spend all day Saturday with my niece Sydney 😀  Friday I had an appointment with Dr. Sean Cupp, an orthopedic physician.  We went over my symptoms and he ended up putting an air cast on my lower leg to stabilize the muscles and bones.  I have 4 weeks with the cast and four weeks of physical therapy.  The air cast isn’t all that bad but I am not allowed to do any “land cardio”, not even yoga for the next four weeks.  A bit of a bummer but at least I’m not in a boot or on crutches!  Whooooo hooooo!  But it also means no 1/2 marathon in the Grand Tetons.  By the time I am fully up and running again there will not be enough time to train properly for it.  So I will focus my efforts on the Tow Path 1/2 marathon in September/October!  So for now it is all about upper body and core.  Not super excited but hey, I did it to myself and I knew better than to go full throttle into the 1/2 training and over exert myself.  LESSON LEARNED!!!  Again…

 

Friday night one of my best friends and I got together for a delicious dinner at El Carnicero in Lakewood.

 

Lakewood has some amazing restaurants and slowly I am trying each one!  The menu was pretty diverse and the really nice thing is that it is NOT your run of the mill Mexican joint.  The food is fresh, unique and will challenge your taste buds in good way.  I started off with a house margarita (happy hour at the bar 4-7) and it was really good.  The margarita could have use a bit more salt around the rim but the drink itself was very scrumptious!  My friend Sara had tequila, straight, rough week at work!)  We both ordered the Wild Boar Nachos (mine were vegetarian of course) and the goat cheese guacamole. The nachos were pretty good but the goat cheese guacamole was insanely delicious.  Very heavy though and it sat heavy in my stomach well into the following morning.  It was a delectable night out!  The best part was that my friend of 29 years and I had a chance to just sit and talk and talk and talk!   We don’t get together as often as we’d like so when we do we make sure it is for good food and tasty drinks.

Saturday morning I awoke to warm sunny skies and so of course I headed down to the beach with coffee in hand to snap a few pics and meditate out on the rocks that extend well into the lake.  😀

Ice covered 2/3’s of the rocks but I was able to find a nice sunny spot and just soaked up the warm sun, beautiful views and the sounds of birds chirping away.  It was perfect…

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I soon received a text from my brother inviting me to join him and his youngest Sydney for breakfast.  I was like, “Um yeah!”  So we discovered a “new to us” diner in Bay Village called Bay Diner.  The staff was friendly and the food was pretty darn good too.  A definite return spot.  😛  I asked Sydney if she wanted to spend the day with me and she said yeah!  She is the smartest 9 year old I know!  I call her Little Miss Regional Manager!  We spent the day doing little home improvement projects around my apartment.  We must have went to Home Depot and Lowe’s a 1/2 dozen times.  She helped me replace outlet covers, change out ceiling fan pull cords and find the right size screws for the drawer pulls I bought a while ago!  She was a great help!  We also went to Books a Million and I bought her a National Geographic Weird But True book.

It contains 300 weird but true random facts about humans, animals, insects and the planet.  Annnnnd since I am a lover of all random facts like she is, we finished the entire book in about 2 hours!  Then we re-read it to see if we could remember the ones in the beginning!  So fun dudes!!!  All in all it was a fantastic day!

Today so far has been pretty good too.  I met my friend Bill for coffee and breakfast and then I am on my way to a benefit for a co-worker who is fighting stage 2-3 colon cancer.  We are hoping for a great turnout for the spaghetti dinner!  She is a fabulous nurse and co-worker!

I hope you all have a fabulous Sunday!  Enjoy the sun my friends!

~Lori

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Monday…why do people say that?  I guess any day where you wake up is a good day, eh?  Today I am working a later shift so I am sitting at the cafe with a warm cup of coffee and a fire blazing just across from me.  So it is a wonderful Monday morning for me 🙂

I thought I would try to ease the Monday blues for you all and do a Monday funday kind of deal.  Random facts and what would you do kind of questions and a trivia question!  Coffee give away!  Coffee from Erie Island Coffee!  A one pound bag of their delicious Perry’s Brew whole bean coffee!  Perry’s Brew is an Italian roast, smooth, low acidity, low caffeine and has a hint of a dark chocolate flavor.  I will randomly select a winner on Friday!

At least this list may make you laugh or distract you from a crazy Monday 🙂  Please feel free to share random facts and anwers to the “what would you do’s” in the comments section 😀  I’d love to learn about you guys too!

10 random facts about me.

1. I LOVE watching planes take off and land but I am afraid of flying.
2. I want to go skydiving really bad!  (it’s just getting up in the air that’s the problem)
3. I can eat peas when they are mixed in with other foods but not by themselves.
4. I am a hair twirler and so are my two sisters.  (Our mom was really concerned about this when we were younger!)
5. I have 2 screws in my left knee.
6. I can drink hot coffee on a 11o° day and I love it!
7. I have roadtripped across country several times solo.
8. I wanted to make hard boiled eggs one time but couldn’t because forgot I owned pots and pans.  That is how much I DO NOT cook!  Lol…but I am slowly learning
9. My right ear squeaks when I itch it.  We all itch our ears from time to time right?!  Right?!
10. Eyebrows are the first thing I notice on someone.

Phew.. That was kind of tough to do!

5 What would you do’s?

1. Where would you go for a week if money or transportation were not an issue?
   • I would go to Africa.
2. What would you do if you found a bag with a ton of money and no one saw you pick it up?
   • Turn it in, wait 30 days and hope no one claims it then TRAVEL!!!
3. Who is the one person with whom you would have lunch with if you could?
   • Jane Goodall and Michael J. Fox   (I know I picked two but they are both my heros!
4.  What would you do if you had only one super power?!
   • I would be able to fly so I could go anywhere any time I want to!
5. What would your dream job be?
   • Photographer/writer for National Geographic.

Trivia question:

1.   In which US State had Sweden for a time a Colony? 

 

Hope this provided a little happy distraction from your hectic Monday!  Have a beautiful day wherever you may be!

~Lori

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

 

 

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Hey Folks!  May we first talk about the amazing weather we had in Cleveland today?!?!?!  It hit a high of 58 degrees, did you hear me?!  58!  This day one year ago I was moving into my place battling 3′ snow drifts.  Today people were running in shorts and a t-shirt! 😀

Okay okay… let me get back on track.  lol…

So I have been training for about a week now but I am using this as day one since it is the first day I am sharing it with you all.  But let me back up to yesterday.

Usually I like to run first thing in the morning.  Yep that’s right I am a morning person!  Don’t hate me… I know a lot of people find that to be incredibly annoying  Anyways, yesterday was beautiful too so I decided to let it warm up a bit and go running mid morning.  BIG MISTAKE man, big mistake.  I ate a decent breakfast and still had not digested it enough by the time I went on my run so therefore my 3.2 miles were totally crappy and seriously I had to walk/run.  Lesson learned!

Today however was my cross training day 😀  Here is what I did a a favorite local park with an amazing panoramic view of Lake Erie!

1. Stairs at my local park carrying 5lb hand weights in each hand.  I climbed them straight up and sideways on both sides.
2. Bicep curls, triceps lifts and front and side arms raises with the weights while climbing the stairs.
3. Tricep dips, 3 sets of 12
4. Forearm planks 3 sets at 30 seconds each.  (my upper body is like spaghetti right now.)
5. Using a blue therapy band and placed it under the balls of my toes and stood about hip width apart.  I then criss-crossed the band in front of me and side stepped 12 steps to the left and then 12 steps to the right.  I repeated this 3 times on each side.
6. Keeping the band in place under my feet I then did arm raises and arms pulls.
7. 3 sets of 12 squats.
8. Calf raises 3 sets of 12.
9. Leg raises sitting down
10. Leg raises standing and extending my leg out behind me at a slight angle.

Side note:  I get really bored lifting weights so I combined cardio and weight lifting!  Whoop Whoop Go ME!

Nutrition:

My mom and I went out to breakfast in Lakewood at Borderline Cafe.  So delicious!  We split a muffin, a fruit bowl and a veggie omelette with hash browns and rye toast.  Seems like a lot but again, we split everything and even then couldn’t finish it all.

Post cross-training I had a protein smoothie.  I use Garden of Life Raw Protein vegan organic protein powder with vanilla.

I added unsweetened Almond milk, kale (minus the stems), a banana and strawberries.  I put everything in the blender and poured it into my 16oz. shaker bottle.  It tasted soooo delicious!

Later today my family gathered for my brothers birthday celebration!  My big brother turned 42!  Sometimes I cannot believe how fast time flies.  It seems like yesterday that we were all walking to elementary school in our freshly ironed uniforms!

It is a bit of a grainy photo but you get the gist.  😀

So at the party I had chips and dip (not a lot but maybe too many.)  I also had a black bean burger with baked beans and coleslaw.  I didn’t do too bad!  On the first of January I gave up sweets and a lot of processed sugar.  I cannot tell you how good I feel!  My energy level at work is consistent and the sugars highs and lows have ceased to exist!  It has been 31 ones days I don’t really ever crave sugar!  So needless to say I didn’t have any birthday cake or ice cream tonight.  Lori 1, sugar devil 0!

That concludes my “first day” of keeping myself accountable!  Like I said please share any tips you may have for my nutrition and training!

Tomorrow is a rest day as I will be working all day then moving apartments (within my building.)

See ya tomorrow!

~Lori

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

 

 

 

 

Good morning everyone!

So today starts something very new for me that is exciting and a little scary!  I am starting to train for a 1/2 marathon and in doing so I will be posting updates to hold myself accountable for my progress.  I not only want to be accountable to myself but to you all as well!

And please, if any of you have advice for training let me know in the comments sections!  Advice is WELCOME!!!

My running story:

I have been a runner ever since elementary school at Sacred Heart of Jesus.  My dad and another fellow dad of a student coached our cross country team.  From that moment I was completely hooked.  I ran from elementary school through my senior year of high school.  My dad would train me me by driving along side me as I was running.  He was instrumental in my running.  I broke a few records and was excelling but then things came to a halt the summer before my sophomore of high school.  I cheered my freshman year much to my dad’s dismay.  He said more than once that I would ruin my knee cheer-leading but I loved it so much that I just ignored his warnings.  I was trying out for the cheer-leading squad the summer before my sophomore year and completely blew out my left knee.  Total reconstruction with screws and all holding my knee together.  It was a total blow to my athleticism.  Coming back after that was not easy.  I was used to being fast and now I was slow.  A friend’s mom used to call me rabbit and the one day she called me turtle… 😦  Eventually I rallied my spirits and ran track and cross- country again however my confidence never truly returned.  I had a really great coach Ms. Nolan.  I remember one day as we were running out on the track her telling me to leave the pack.  She knew I had what it took to break out and set the pace.  So I did.  But my confidence would fade again and I would stick with the group.  That is pretty much how I rounded out my high school running career.  Sad I know!  I even had a college recruiter call me.  But stupid me was so honest that when they mentioned my fasted mile time I told them I hadn’t run that in a couple of years!  Sometimes, as my dad says, I volunteer too much information.

My love of running never faded and over the years I have ran on and off.

A few years ago I trained with my friend Anna for the Towpath 1/2 marathon in Cuyahoga Valley National Park.  We trained hard up until the week of the race.  That same week I went to register only to be turned away as it was SOLD OUT!  All my hard work and dedication….gone.  So I went with Anna and her boyfriend at the time, to cheer her on and congratulate her at the finish line.  I was sooo bummed but also excited to cheer on my friend!

Now I want to train right and eat right so I can run the Grand Teton 1/2 marathon in Jackson, WY!  Currently I am battling a little bout of shin splints.  So I am learning HOW to train and learning to slow down instead of doing too much too soon.  My sister’s friend Megan suggested that I blog about my progress and everything that goes with it.  So thanks to Megan for being the catalyst in this!  Also Megan is quite the runner herself so I may ask her to do a guest blog post so she can talk about her training 😀

So thanks in advance for all the support and advice!

~Lori

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

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Algonquin Provincial Park Ontario, Canada~ one of my all time favorite scenic trips 😀

I am so happy to finally be telling you guys about this trip that I took back in August!  My friend Erik from the backpacking group had brought up the idea of this trip way back in February and from the instant the words came out of his mouth I COULD NOT WAIT to GO!!!  The way he described the place was just awesome.  So after months of his planning and pre-trip meetings we were off  to Canada!

Erik told us that we all could bring a few extra luxuries as we were canoeing and therefore didn’t have to carry all of our weight.  Not going to lie,  that was kind of nice 😉  There were 3 of us riding together in my car.  My car by the way is a tiny little hatchback.  However, we managed to fit a cooler, 3 stuffed to the brim backpacks, road snacks, maps, extra boots, clothes for the trip and 3 happier humans in my tiny little car.  Two of those humans were over 6 feet tall and had at least a good 12 inches on me.  Tom and Ausra were awesome and somehow didn’t complain one bit about the lack of space for their long limbs..lol.  About half way through the trip up I asked Tom if he wanted to drive but he couldn’t as a bunch of gear was piled behind the drivers seat and he couldn’t put the seat back.  His head was cocked to the side and his body smooshed behind the wheel…lol!  Poor guy did try though!  Ausra sat in the back the whole time…comfortably (she never complained)??? Hahaha.

As we began our trip to the the great white north we all chatted about what we hoped to see and experience.  I don’t think one of us knew just how blown away we’d all be when we actually arrived!

We all met up and car camped the first evening.  I borrowed a friends hammock set up for this trip.  I have always wanted to try hammocking (did I just make up a word?  lol) but was unsure about having the privacy to take care of personal needs (changing clothes and freshening up) when one is out and about in the backcountry.  I really was surprised to find that it didn’t make much of a difference!  I had a rain fly that served as a cover for the hammock during down pours and also as a privacy shield, so I was quite happy.  🙂  The set up is TOTALLY easy and I will definitely camp like this again in the future!

That first night we all gathered around the fire at Tea Lake Campground and Erik and his girlfriend brought along fancy smores that involved Oreo’s.  Not a big fan of the fancy “new”snack but the gesture was really nice.  We all sat around drank wine and beer  and snacked on foods everyone brought to share.

We awoke the next morning and I went down to the lake and sat in quiet solitude as I made my coffee and breakfast (oatmeal) and meditated for a bit.

It was a misty morning and the weather was ridiculously perfect.  After breakfast we all packed up our gear and headed down to the main boat launch area to gather our boats, oars and pick up any last minute items at the portage store.

Once we all had that we needed we headed down to the docks!

I CANNOT tell you in words the pure BEAUTY of this place at first sight.  All of a sudden I was completely and totally relaxed.  I was so filled with contentment, love, and gratefulness.

Side note:  To be able to travel is the most important thing to me outside of my family.  I would crumble and wither if I could not get in my car and seek out the beauty of this indescribable, amazing and majestic world.

The sky was the perfect blue and the clouds just popped up all around us like they were saying, “Hello!  Welcome to Algonquin!”  Dudes…it was sooooo  perfect!  Then came time to shove off and below is the first picture I took once we were in the canoe and it is my favorite pic of this trip.

All I wanted to do was jump in the water and swim around Smoke Lake!  The weather we had that extra long weekend was gorgeous!  Not super hot but hot enough to enjoy getting splashed by the occasional rogue paddle slamming into the water 😉  We paddled and paddled all day long leisurely wandering around the lakes and taking in the views.  I really wanted to see a moose grazing at the water’s edge but unfortunately I didn’t see one the entire time.  Bummer dude! Although on the way back I did see a moose in the trees!

Let me take a minute to write about the amazing sounds I DID hear throughout my trip up there.  It was the fist night, I was swaying in my hammock and reading a book I had brought when I suddenly perked up.  I heard what I thought were wolves.  It wasn’t until we were out on the water that I first saw these crazy strange looking wolves….um..I mean loons!  They make the coolest sounds when calling out into the night.  Here is a little video about them and the sounds they make.  So awesome!

 

 

We meandered around lakes, islands and gatherings of water filled Lily fields.  To get to other lakes we had to carry our gear, boats and food over what are called “portages”, they are little snippets of land that you have to cross over to get to another lake.  It wasn’t that bad.  We quickly learned to carry our gear first then go back for the boats. We did rent the light weight canoes but they are still kind of heavy for one person!  We also learned to carry them above our bodies instead of by the handles hanging below our hips.  I don’t have a high enough clearance for that!  Hahaha…#shortgirlproblems!  Some of the portages were short and others were quite steep for carrying boats but we all pitched in and got the job done and continued on to our next lake.

We camped at Big Porcupine Lake. and the view was stunning!

Gosh as I am writing this I am chomping at the bit to go back!!!

We went swimming here and it was so liberating!  The water was so clean and fresh!  Some swam to an island across the way.  I just floated and swam all around the shore!  Any trip where you can go swimming is the best!!!!  Just like jumping off of Jump Rock down at the Red River Gorge!

The last night of our stay was one of the best as this crazy cool thunderstorm lulled us to sleep and the light show was unstoppable!  It was absolutely super cool swaying in the hammock while the rain fell upon the rain fly and I gently swayed back and forth.

Now let us chat about the bear that a couple of us SWEAR came through the camp that night.  I could not feel the heavy footsteps that Beth felt in her tent but I heard SNUFFLING!!!   I was snuggled in my hammock just about to turn off my headlamp and put my book away for the night when I heard it!  And this is NOT some fish story!!!  I lifted up the edge of the rain fly that hung above me and tried to peek out into the darkness to see where the bear was at!!!!!!  I couldn’t see a thing.  So I went over a mental checklist in my head.

1. Food is hanging up in a bear bag up in a tree quite a distance from camp.
2. Any morsels of food that may have dropped from dinner around my hammock have been cleared away.
3. No lotion or lip balms in my hammock or pants pocket.

So with my metal checklist, “checked off” I laid there as freakin’ qietly as I could and tried not to breathe!!!!!!  I would love to see a bear on one of my backcountry trips but at a distance.  After what seemed like forever the snuffling stopped and I relaxed a bit.  Then it started up again!  I would not have been freaking out but the rangers at the office a few days before told us they had to close one of the campsites because of bears.  So I laid there thinking, “Well if this is the way I am going to exit this world then at least I am doing something I love!”  Eventually out of pure exhaustion I fell asleep.  The next morning Beth told me she could feel the earth shake around her but she didn’t hear the snuffling.  I told her I couldn’t feel the earth shake but I heard the snuffling.  Ausra said she heard and felt it!  The others did not.  So the consensus is that there was a bear, whether the others believed us or NOT!  Hahaha!

We rounded out our trip with more swimming and lots of amazing views.

So many memories from this trip!  Until next time…

~Lori

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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I love love love waking up before the sun and being alone with nature.  It is quiet and peaceful and I get to have the lake to myself before the morning joggers and walkers join me on the path.  Before I go to work I give myself a chance to put my mind at ease and breathe deeply knowing that I get to return to the lake in 11 hours.  I purchased my Sector 9  about 6 years ago when I lived in San Francisco.  I was hanging out with my neighbors who were sort of hippie lazy cool and going through their goods they were selling at their garage sale.  I came across a skateboard, the cruising kind.  Despite the tsunami warning that was in effect, we were totally unaware until I received a phone call from my mother who had been watching the news in Ohio, I was riding the skateboard up and down the street for the rest of the afternoon.  The day was bright sunny and oh so warm that afternoon.  The breeze I was catching from rolling down hill got me HOOKED!  So my crazy neighbor who was sipping on his mate tea and I headed down to the ocean where there was a local skateboard shop.  With his help I picked out my first skateboard and have been on and off it ever since.

I would skateboard with their dog Sonny 10 blocks down to the ocean several times a week.  The cool thing about San Francisco is that they allow dogs on the beach.  Sonny was “THE COOLEST DOG” in the neighborhood!  So sweet and funny and loved the water.  I should have dognapped him!

Speaking of California, I had the most vivid dreams of Southern California last night.  I dreamt I was driving south on the 1 and I was watching the surfers surf and then wait for the good waves off the coast of Malibu.  I felt like I was home and never left…maybe time for a visit 😉  California does that to me whenever I go back.  Feels like home with a family member missing.  I know when February hits and Cleveland is in a deep dark freeze, I’ll be itching to get out there.  Into the warm California sun.  😀

Speaking of riding before dawn, it is 5:29am and I want to get to the lake before work.  So I hope you all have a very beautiful, fun and peaceful day!  Try something new today, something outside of your comfort zone.  Maybe skateboarding?!

Cheers,

~Lori

“Give what you have.  To someone it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

When you fall asleep at night are you alone?  Are you alone even if you are with someone who is right next to you?  Right now I sleep alone.  I have been in relationships where I felt alone even if my boyfriend was sleeping next to me.  Do you ever feel this way?  Regardless if you are married or not.  What happens when you think your life is what it should be but the loneliness settles in?  My last relationship was everything I wanted and everything I didn’t want.  Does that make sense?  It makes perfect sense and that is why I knew I had to get out and why I knew that I had to fight until my heart bled to try and make it work.  How do you know when to throw in the towel and when to stay?  Doesn’t anyone fight the good fight anymore or are we just disposable to one another?  And when you first meet someone…how soon do you know that they are either a friend, maybe something more or someone you just need to get to know better before you make a decision.  To those who are living a great love story, great!

I am someone who has a hard time following through on things.  I am a loyal and reliable friend but to me, myself, I am as reliable as a 2 legged stool.  I am not a grass is greener kind of woman.  I am just the type that has to be 110% sure about something before I go through with it, career and relationships that is.  I am as spontaneous as the weather in Cleveland!  lol.. I wouldn’t say that I have a fear of commitment BUT I do have a fear of being committed to the wrong person and career.  (I am doing fine in my life and I am still working on discovering my dharma..haha)

We have to be happy with ourselves before we can be happy with anyone, right?  Yes and no.  I love most things about myself.  There are areas that need work just like everyone else.  But since WHEN do we have to walk through life alone until every little ripple calms?!

What happens when you meet someone that you have the connection with, “the connection”? You know, the one where you just “get” each other.  The one where you look at the other person and you are both thinking the same things.  The one that even though you aren’t in the same room you feel their presence?  I have had those.  But what if that connection is with the wrong person?  Or right person wrong time?  Do you stop acting on it?  Do you put it on the back burner and wait until the time may be right?  What if that person isn’t currently available?

We hear it all the time, “Nice guys finish last or no one likes a guy who is too nice.”  I don’t think either of those are true!  I have met/reconnected with a string of nice guys recently but I am just not attracted to them because I don’t feel that connection to them.  Give it time they say, you’re too picky they say, not everyone has “the connection” they say.  Well, I have had “the connection” therefore I know it exists.  My sweet dear aunt told me once that maybe I am not meant to be with anyone.  What the hell?  Humans are not solitary creatures.  I certainly am not solitary.  I love my alone time but when I have been lacking human connection it plays on my psyche.  I am a people person.  I love talking, listening and interacting with people.

However, I rather be alone than with the wrong man.  That is true.  But when are we going to stop with the whole independent movement?  Men and women have gender roles.  Not the societal ones that have been impressed upon us but the innate ones.  In nature it is the male who woos his potential mate.  Archaic?  I don’t know.  About a year ago I was camping with a group of people and there was this one guy who was cute (super tall and a little like Paul Bunyan) but a bit pompous.  We were having a debate about what would happen if an intruder came into camp.  He said I would run and hide behind the men hoping they would be able to fend off the intruder.  I, being the ever so stubborn feminist said, “I certainly would not!!!  Why would I ever look to a man to defend me?”  Well flash forward a year or so and I now know I would do what I could but men are physically stronger then women (well some of the time anyways..haha) and I would have no problem looking to the strongest man if a fight broke out.   Is that sexist?  I don’t think so.

I do think that every relationship is a give and take and it is not always going to be 50/50.  I believe that people give up too easily.  Not because they stopped loving the other person but because they are scared of what is going on inside themselves.  I loved an ex-boyfriend of mine.  We once had this beautiful moment in a deli parking lot.  We looked at each other, knew we were thinking the same loving thoughts and both cried a little at the same time.  That was enough for me to know that we had “the connection.”  But later amidst out struggles  I saw a brighter side of us that he didn’t.  What I really saw was a side of us that I wanted from someone but maybe or maybe not from him but I was willing to do the work to find out.  He wasn’t.  Eventually I knew it wasn’t going to be possible on either of our parts because it was going to be too hard for both of us to be raw with one another.  I was too scared and so was he too I think.  I also knew when it was finally time to throw in the towel.  But what came out of that was a painful amazing beautiful struggle that lead me here, right here, in the library writing this.

I am not afraid to put my feelings out there.  Why should we be afraid?  The song and dance of things is getting to the point of ridiculousness.  We are so disconnected.  We are afraid of how we are going to let the other person make us feel therefore we hide behind technology and our own walls.  What happened to romance, respect and effort?  Are we just feeling-less beings that get together for the sake of reproducing or dwelling together to keep up with where our peers are in life?  I don’t want a roommate that I happen to have sex with.  I want a partner.  I want a MAN.  An encouraging, loyal, honest, moral, hard working (no matter the profession),  funny as hell, gentle giant of character who knows how to treat a woman of the same character…but I also want/need “the connection.”

So to my dear aunt, no, I am not meant to be alone.  To my brother, neither of our parents had a college degree.  To people who think women are suppose to be strong and independent, DAMN STRAIGHT!  To me:  you are an amazing strong independent lady, and it is perfectly okay to take the man’s hand when he is trying to help you up.  It is also perfectly okay to walk away when all resources of “help” have been exhausted.

We don’t just want one another, we really do NEED one another.

~Lori

“Give what you have.  To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow